There's a Monster in My Room!

by Lissa Carlson

At bedtime, my three-year-old son complains there are monsters under his bed or in his closet. I would think it was just a delay tactic, but he seems genuinely anxious. What should I do?

Most parents at one time or another have confronted this challenge, says Jeanne Szatkowski, a therapist at Family & Children’s Center, adding it often begins as soon as a child is able to express fear verbally. “When parents tune into the child, they often see he is really asking for reassurance about his safety and that his parents will be there if truly needed.”

Parents tend to dismiss worries about bedtime monsters and that’s a mistake, says Szatkowski.  “Talk with your child to identify the fear and work together to resolve it,” she says. “That tells your child it’s O.K. to be scared sometimes and that he can count on you to help.”

Because the fear is often illogical, the solution can be as well. You can do anything from walking together, hand in hand, to the closet and looking through it completely, to sternly ordering all of the spiders out from under the bed and forbidding them to return. You can even arm your child with invisible fairy dust to ward off apparitions. Whatever you do, keep it simple and quick.

To reduce bedtime fears in the first place, Szatkowski recommends a consistent bedtime routine that includes relaxing music or a soothing bedtime story and eliminates television and video games long before bedtime.

“As you work to resolve your child’s fears, remember your response can have a big impact on how your child deals with fear in the future,” adds Szatkowski. “Not only are you establishing a healthy pattern for supporting your child, you’re also modeling healthy behaviors for life.”

Editor’s note: