Keeping the Sizzle in Your Marriage

The secret to a happy marriage is for the couple to maintain the sizzle in their relationship. There are simple things a married couple can do to keep that sizzle alive.

Pay attention to each other's needs and wants.
In fact, you should compete to make each other happy! If you both make it a point to become aware of your spouse's wants and needs and then do your best to satisfy them, even if it requires some personal sacrifice, you're guaranteed to have a happy marriage.

Appreciate your spouse as often as possible.
Pleasing, loving words will make your spouse feel good about themselves—and you. Some examples are: "I love you." "I enjoyed the dinner you cooked." "You look handsome/beautiful." "You did a wonderful job keeping things clean." "I love it when you're on time."

Follow up your words with loving actions.
Surprise your spouse with flowers, love letters, gifts, favors, a romantic dinner, tickets to a game or anything else you know they would appreciate. Have fun and be creative.

Take each other out on a date.
Just because you're married doesn't mean you should stop dating. Keep the excitement of dating by planning something fun to do at least once a week. Some examples are having a romantic picnic at the park, going out to the movies, taking a day trip or getting massages at a local day spa.

Spend intimate moments together.
Avoid ever letting the passion fade from your marriage. Physical intimacy brings two people closer together. Sometimes it may be difficult if you're tired, busy, or preoccupied. But don't let your problems or energy level stop you— make time to be intimate anyway. Make an appointment if necessary. I know it may sound silly, but at least that way you know you're both committed.

Explore new activities together.
Life offers many options and opportunities. A couple can help maintain the sizzle in their marriage by frequently incorporating new life experiences. So find activities you both like and do them—anything from dancing to going to the opera to traveling around the world.

Keep your promises and agreements.
When you say you're going to do something, make every effort to do it. Broken promises and agreements can only lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment and mistrust.

Be there for your spouse.
When your spouse is hurt, sick, or just having a bad day, be supportive. Listen, give feedback if they want it, take care of them and help them according to the situation.

Work together as a team.
You're equal partners in this marriage. Neither spouse should dominate. Make decisions on matters of mutual concern together, and be prepared to compromise when you're unable to agree.

Excerpt from Life’s Little How To Book by Jaleh Donaldson, a self-help book with easy-to-understand tips, now available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and Borders.