Getting Down to the Nitty-Gritty of Sending a Child to College

Your child has been accepted to college. Parents and their college-bound student are now largely on their own to navigate the many roads of leaving home, preparing for the dorm, and mastering forms and fees.

There is a lot to do before parents wave goodbye at the airport or dorm.

Marie Carr kept careful track of everything she learned the hard way as her three daughters went off to college, and assembled her smart tips into a helpful handbook for other parents, Prepared Parent's Operational Manual: Sending Your Child to College.

"Five years and four colleges later, I have kept track of everything that I learned,” Carr says. Here are the five most important tips she tells parents:

1. Be organized and on the lookout for all forms of communication.

Your son or daughter will be treated by the college or university as an adult, and all communications including the tuition bill will come to them in the mail and to their school e-mail account. Letters cannot go unopened and e-mails must get a response. You may never see the tuition bill, which must be paid, typically by you.

2. A Health Care Proxy and/or Power of Attorney must be filled in and filed with the appropriate college office before any potential medical emergency, not after.

The HIPPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) enacted in 1996 requires that all medical information and records be strictly confidential. As a college parent this means two things: First, you will not be able to voice your opinion to any clinician about your child's medical care and second, you will not have access to their medical records, x-rays, etc.

3. Have a discussion about finances, budget, and identity theft.

Each year, more and more students leave college with a degree and thousands of dollars of debt on credit cards with high interest rates.

4. Get the details organized.

Have your student's ID number, mailing address (which is different from their dorm address), address where you can overnight something (which may be different from the mailing address), names and cell phone numbers of the roommates, Resident Advisor, nearest hospital, etc. Most students will feel that this is invading their privacy, but after various college campus tragedies, it is really insurance for peace of mind and help in case of a true emergency. They may come to thank you for it.

5. Keep the lines of communication open between yourself and your student.

Alcohol abuse and depression are very real. As a parent, you need to recognize the signs. Learn how to text message to their cell phones -- the easiest and most popular means of communication. Plan to send snail mail and packages of goodies.

So, before it is time to start the marathon shopping spree and packing, the preparations for this new phase of parenting must begin. With careful organization and advance planning, this new adventure will be a delight rather than a nightmare.